Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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