youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
