Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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