i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
send nudes
from the living room?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize