the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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