Your dad touched me again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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