Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
