If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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