Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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