he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
