We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
