I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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