I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
