I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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