Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
did you just send me my own nude
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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