A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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