i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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