yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize