I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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