i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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