i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
