Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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