I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
