Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
