Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
