She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
