I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
