If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
