i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The Olympian is in my bed
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
