just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
