No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
