Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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