oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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