i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
