my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize