hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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