You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
