I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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