ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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