So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
