I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
YAS. BRING CRAB.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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