margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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