He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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