I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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