Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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