I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
