look no pants
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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