no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
