Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
