Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
