next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
