it hurts more in the daytime
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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