Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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