I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
