just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
