That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
