The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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